paano tayo naiiba: how pinoy flatmates differ from others

IN AN OVERWHELMING majority the last decade-plus Mahal and I flatted (rented) around Wellington, our flatmates have been fellow Filipinos, kabayan that we’ve shared a flat (apartment) with both out of choice and necessity. Choice because it’s easier to get along with people you’re already familiar with, their likes, dislikes, food, habits, culture and other things that define race. Necessity because we know the likelihood of fellow Pinoys (Filipinos) getting along with us long-term is more than non-Pinoys doing so (nothing against non-Pinoys), so to avoid constant changes and abrupt departures, we usually advertise for, and get, kabayan flatmates. But we’ve had our share of flatmates around the world.  A Canadian model from Toronto wanted to try his luck here, a Punjabi  lady who talked about India all day long, and currently a Colombian student who talks Spanish on Skype with her parents as fast as she does her chores before work and school (as she is a parttime working student). This is what we observe with how our own kind get along as flatmates, we can’t vouch for the accuracy but, after nearly a dozen flatmates from the Islands, we can certainly vouch for the authenticity: 85% to 90% of all Pinoy flatmate behavior is influenced by their sensitivity to smell and hygiene.  Doing their share around the house. Taking daily showers, if not more often. Doing the laundry at least once a week, more during summer and hot weather. While these may not always be the regular expectation with Kiwis and other nationalities, it is unspoken behavior among most, if not all Filipinos as flatmates. And we don’t just do it to be good neighbors. We do it for ourselves, because it’s how we were brought up, how it’s part of our personality and attitude, and because we want to smell good all the time, maybe a bit more than everybody else. I proved it to myself when, in an elevator with many other occupants from different origins, I later asked Mahal who was in the elevator with me “was it just me or did a lot of the other occupants smell funny?” Mahal vigorously agreed, but we suspected we were the only ones who felt (odor-wise) offended as nobody else seemed to mind on the elevator. Indeed, what bothers Pinoys may not always bother other people, certain races even less than others. [ Let met tell you how sensitive Mahal is to odors: she once left her workplace at the mall for a toilet break at the same time a woman of indeterminate race ran across the mall to chase her restless child. She passed right by Mahal and because of the combination of the warm weather and the fact that the woman was tightly wrapped in garments and sweating, she exuded such an odor that Mahal felt nauseous (no offense)  almost immediately. In her own words, “baka matagal nang di naliligo at pawis na pawis sa kakahabol ng bata, nahilo talaga ako sa amoy nya.” So there, please let the nearest Pinoy translate for you. 🙂 ] Usually (but not always) Pinoy flatmates are quiet until they call or Skype home. Nearly all Filipinos in New Zealand are employed, study or both. The time they spend home or away from work they use to rest, or spend quality time with family, who may or may not be physically present in New Zealand. In our experience, this means our flatmates, unless they’re heavy metal fans, vigorous rappers or extremely sociable types, spend a lot of down time sleeping, resting and just recharging themselves. This changes when they have the time or have scheduled to talk with family they dearly miss back home. Doesn’t matter if it’s parents, spouses or kids, the joy is palpable and the change in sound level instantaneous. It’s almost as if Pinoy flatmates make up for the quiet and silence prior to the regular call to family with all the possible laughs, jokes and even tears making up for lost time with family.  Pardon me guys, while I call Mom. A lot of Pinoy flatmates will wear religion on their sleeves but most will not hard-sell you on their faith, with very little in-between. All of the flatmates we’ve shared a roof with attend church on Sunday. Not all, but most of them are Catholic, but the born-again Christians are quite hardline as well. With their outward actions and behaviors, their Sundays are full-on (full-speed), and they wouldn’t have it any other way. Pinoys are quite active in church activities, especially because church is closely connected to Catholic schools where many Filipinos enrol their kids. Choirs, fundraising activities, feast day celebrations and similar stuff are days regularly marked on Pinoy family calendars, not to mention couples’ bonding and counseling groups, youth groups and children’s groups.  I know, because a couple of our flatmates have been deeply immersed in these schedules the time they were with us. Most have moved on into their own homes, but the practice has been preserved regardless of who our flatmate is. Everyone reserves a day for Mass during the weekend, you don’t actually need to be a Pinoy to do this as New Zealand is still by and large a churchgoing country. Like we said, Pinoy flatmates don’t go aggressive in talking about their faith and their culture, it’s an internal thing, actions always speak louder than words. Do you have anything remarkable to say about Filipinos as flatmates? Thanks for reading!